Childfree Dating & Networking at

UPDATE: Kathi and Josh have discontinued Their vision for the site was incredible and we wish them the very best in their next ventures! Sad to see this resource go.

Not too long ago we noticed what appeared at first glance to be a new dating site pop up on the internet. You may not know this, but Amy and I have been {mostly} happily married for nearly 19 years so we try not to spend too much time on dating sites. The reason this site caught our attention is that it is exclusively childfree. We also quickly figured out that it’s not just a dating site… it’s a social networking site for the childfree so couples like us are welcome too.

Since we like to spread the childfree love – in the best possible way – we reached out to them to see what’s what. Website

Meet the Founders of!

Kathi and Josh Abbey are the founders of They live in a beautiful neighborhood in New Jersey…no jokes about the Garden State please.  They have been married for 10 years and live with their five cats and two dead plants.

Two dead plants…really hard not to make jokes about the Garden State.

About Kathi

“I love to laugh and make others laugh so I enjoy spending most of my time trying to make that happen.”

While she is not “re-re-decorating” rooms in her home, she can be found completely avoiding yard work and taunting furry creatures with toys that have bells in them. She has two degrees from Rutgers University, has been a journalist for her hometown newspaper and worked in several quaint cubicles that could not contain her for long (see the cinematic blockbuster Office Space).  She is a huge comedy fan and her favorites include Jon Stewart, Louis CK, Tina Fey and Lewis Black.  She and her husband got married in a comedy club and had a stand-up comedian perform at their wedding.  She currently owns an interior decorating business.

…and Josh

He can easily be identified with his cell phone in-hand and his eyes affixed on several computer monitors, seemingly trying to take over the world.  He currently owns an IT consulting company and can be described as the Dr. House of computers.   He appreciates a good scotch and a great game of chess.  He is surrounded by books that keeps sending and finds his wife’s cleaning habits to be more of a “hide-all-of-my-stuff” venture.   Josh enjoys traveling and reading.  His favorite author is Robert A. Heinlein.  And wishes he had a Batmobile.

hildfreeworld Dashboard ImageQ & A

w{n}hab!: The obligatory question…how did you guys come to the decision to be childfree?

CFW:  I have known since I was about 15 that I was not going to have children.   I did not enjoy the company of children and knew I would not want to be responsible for raising a child.  It seemed tedious to me…not enjoyable. The term “childfree” did not exist at that point, nor did much information about the subject.  I just knew I was different from most people but didn’t know what to call it.

In the same way most men don’t plan their weddings, Josh didn’t think it through to that degree.  Josh says he didn’t go through the bingos that I have because, as he puts it, “Nobody ostracizes, blames, and points fingers at childfree men to the same degree they ostracize women for choosing not to have children.”

Josh had a significant relationship break up over differing desires to have kids, and at that point in his life he was unaware it was a lifestyle choice. Josh did not envision having children.

Josh and I met on an online dating site in the year 2000 because I wanted to meet man who didn’t want children.  We have been happily married for over ten years and together for almost 14 years.

w{n}hab!: So, what was your motivation in creating

CFW: Josh and I are both members of various CF forums and the subject of how to find a CF partner comes up often.  We built to serve, what we felt, was a need in the CF community, and it seemed that nobody else had. We also noticed a theme in the childfree community of “baby assault” on various social networking sites.  So, we decided to incorporate the social networking aspect into our site, as well.

We took on as something we can work on when we are not working (our “day jobs” that is), in the hopes it would bring the CF community closer together, and help CF people find love where they otherwise could not.  We also believe that as this CF “movement” goes forward, one day we will become a large enough group that politics and government will have to recognize us as a voice.  We are out there, we should get together!

w{n}hab!: Baby assault? Is that like When Babies Attack?

CFW:  That’s exactly what we are trying to avoid!  Awareness is key.

w{n}hab!: What kind of response have you had to the site so far?

CFW:  We have seen a very positive response!  We are getting new CF members every day from all over the world!  Currently our membership is about 48% female and 46% male and we have couples signed up looking to meet other CF couples to spend time with.  Our members have said that it had been difficult to find like-minded CF people:  “Finally! A childfree dating site!”

w{n}hab!: What are your goals for the site?

CFW:  Our goal is simple:  We want to connect the childfree community. It’s where to go to meet your CF soul mate, schedule a fun get together with other CF members in your area or talk about CF issues in the forums. is where CF people can go to be relieved from all of the “first day of school” photos and baby poo stories of other social networks, and mingle with other CF people.

w{n}hab!: Have you matched any couples yet? Details, please!

CFW:  We have matched two couples from the U.S. that we know of since going live with the site a short time ago!  One couple resides in Virginia and one couple is from Pennsylvania and Texas.  We do not have details of their relationships as of yet, but have encouraged them to keep us posted!

w{n}hab!: Why the need for Do other dating sites prevent people from noting that they don’t want kids?

CFW: Other sites do not prevent the CF from meeting.  I know this because Josh and I met on an online dating site (which no longer exists).  However, we have seen posts from people who had started a relationship with a childfree person only to have them they change their minds, ending the relationship in heartache.  Other rhetoric in the CF community was that they would be matched with people who already had children or were matched with people that thought they could change someone’s mind.   We believe that most CF people know definitively that they don’t want children and those are the people that will sign up for a site like ours.

w{n}hab!: What’s been the biggest surprise since you launched the site?

CFW: One of the biggest surprises was the amount of young people who joined the site.  It’s refreshing to know that having a baby is no longer something that’s just “supposed to happen.”   More and more teens and twenty-somethings realize that having children is not an inevitability…it’s a choice!

w{n}hab!: Aside from being childfree, what other characteristics do users of your site seem to have in common?

CFW: users have many common interests and are afforded more time to enjoy them.  Many of our members are avid pet lovers, love the outdoors and spending time with their loved ones. Childfree people have the same interests as people with children, like travel and recreation.    As the world grows more comfortable with parenthood being a choice, the CF are coming out and saying they would like to spend time with other people who choose not to have children doing things that are not always kid-appropriate, like wine-tasting tours, for example.   A common theme is that the CF want to spend time with others who don’t have the limitations of parenting.  We don’t have to think about children, and their impact on us.  What draws us CF closer, I think, is our mutual understanding that we choose not to have children in a world that expects it.

10 Responses to Childfree Dating & Networking at

  1. D July 24, 2016 at 12:53 pm #

    Bet they went off to have a baby…

  2. Br June 29, 2015 at 9:43 am #

    I’m looking for someone who shares my values and has love and respect for children but doesn’t want any of our own.
    The existence of this site raised my hopes until I found it was offline.
    I believe 100% there is a good long term need/solution here.

  3. Lor January 3, 2015 at 7:17 pm #

    Great. I finally learn of a dating site for this, and it’s DEAD. This is awful. I am doomed to be a single woman in a world full of baby-crazed men.

    • Gabriel April 20, 2015 at 6:11 am #

      you are not!! i’m a man looking for a woman like you!

    • Mel May 5, 2015 at 7:46 pm #

      I am with you Lor. Sad!

  4. Vern Southern July 7, 2014 at 5:57 am # is a dead link

    • Amy July 8, 2014 at 1:32 pm #

      Yes, we were very sorry to learn that Kathi and Josh have shut down the site. Here’s hoping someone else picks up this wonderful idea!!

  5. Tim in San Francisco November 1, 2013 at 8:38 pm #

    I just signed up for the website – I guess it’s new, but found there were only 3 women within 100 miles of San Francisco (where I live); hopefully you’ll have many more sign on. 🙂


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