Give Us A {childfree} Reason

It’s w{n}hab!’s birthday and to celebrate we thought a little contest was in order! With prizes even!

The Set Up

There are a lot of reasons to remain childfree. We’ve Facebooked and Tweeted and Google+ed quite a few over the last year, including these beauts:

  • Reason #298 – I’ll never be inclined, nor need, to wear one of these

    The Daddle by Cashel

  • Reason #22,598 – Feeling under the weather today. Get to crawl into bed. Do not have to pick up kids from daycare.
  • Reason #5 – No need to lock up the liquor. Unless I want Amy to stay out of the liquor. I need to lock up the liquor.
  • Reason #23,756 – Only have to fight Amy for the Chocolate Peanut Butter Hagen Daz. Best. Ice. Cream. Ever.
  • Reason #35,578 – Babies slow you down in a zombie apocalypse

You get the point..right?

The Contest


How do you enter you ask?

–> Go to the comments section below and submit your #1 reason for being #childfree <–

Again, submit your reason in the comments section below – not on Facebook or Twitter or on your own blog. Hell, submit your #2 or #3 or #4. Enter as many times as you’d like. We don’t give a rip. It’s as simple as…

Crap. Can’t think of anything else that simple.


Yep. Winning. Anywho…

  • Three, count them, three (3) real winners will be selected by our expert panel of judges (Lance and Amy).
  • Winners will receive their choice of one of our sweet w{n}hab! mugs
  • NOTE – you must register with the site so we have your email address. No email address, no winner, no mug.
No subscribe? No win!

No subscribe? No win!

  • Want a hint for what a winning entry looks like? Go for {mostly} positive and be funny.

Finally, thanks to everyone for following and supporting us this last year! It’s been fun! Let’s do it again.

Dr. Amy & {non-Dr.} Lance


The contest is over…entries have been judged, winners have been named. You can see the results here and thanks to everyone for playing!


71 Responses to Give Us A {childfree} Reason

  1. Melissa April 7, 2014 at 12:28 pm #

    Not sure if the contest is still going (did you announce when it ends?) but here are my reasons: I can wear dangly earrings anytime I please. I don’t have to interrupt my dinner conversation to pay attention to junior and pretend to have baby talk that is not interesting to the adults in the room. I’ll add more soon!

  2. Angela Hon-Fuego April 6, 2014 at 3:38 am #

    I love my sleep and I love my bed.
    I want to sleep on a proper bed and mattress, not a trampoline for children.
    I want to drive on my own terms, but not as a chauffeur to sports practice, sleepovers, shopping malls, etc.
    I love to travel, but not just to see Mickey Mouse and to eat pizza for 10+ years straight.
    I don’t want to be bombarded with Justin Bieber or One Direction alike music at home on a daily basis in my old age.
    I want to be able to learn new things, not going though “1+1=?” all over again.

  3. Ashley April 6, 2014 at 12:12 am #

    I’ll never feel the need to post pictures of my stomach every day for almost 9 months.

  4. Julie E. April 5, 2014 at 10:59 pm #

    Being childfree means never having to say ‘did someone make a stinky ?’

    • Lance April 6, 2014 at 11:43 am #

      I may not have to, but I often want to.

  5. Sidni April 5, 2014 at 2:41 pm #

    #18 Being an Auntie is a million times cooler than being a Mommy. I get to participate in all of the fun stuff and none of the yucky stuff.

  6. J. LaBouff April 5, 2014 at 11:01 am #

    Because I can cook and eat what I want, instead of hiding vegetables, leaving out wine and spices so my kids will be willing to eat it!

  7. Angela Z. April 4, 2014 at 11:37 pm #

    #1 Financial ruin!
    #2 Free time!

  8. Brooklyn April 4, 2014 at 11:24 pm #

    Because I’d never be caught dead driving a minivan. All of our cars are two-seater roadsters, which brings us to the next reason; being #childfree means we can spending our rubles on tires and cars for our road racing hobby instead of diapers and strollers.

  9. Aimée Morrissey-Scanlon April 4, 2014 at 12:30 pm #

    Just because. Because I have the choice, and I value that! Oh, and because I value my va-jay-jay as an ‘entry only’ destination…it’s a ‘no exit’ zone!!

  10. Aimee April 3, 2014 at 10:15 pm #

    Reason number 97447: because I don’t need a baby to give my life purpose. I can’t think of anything clever!

    • Lance April 4, 2014 at 9:43 am #

      Was that one entry or two? 🙂

  11. Aimee April 3, 2014 at 10:08 pm #

    Reason #246986, because it’s my decision!

  12. Deanna April 3, 2014 at 5:35 pm #

    Because I wouldn’t want to unleash an evil miniature version of myself upon innocent people. And I like sleeping in. =)

  13. Julie E. April 3, 2014 at 3:51 pm #

    Because life is too short for endless loops of Sesame Street, Spongebob and Dora The Explorer

  14. jasmine April 3, 2014 at 12:26 pm #

    Reason #1 the childfree darkside had cookies, and no kids to eat them all first.

  15. Carrie April 3, 2014 at 10:15 am #

    Reason #525,000: I hate being told what to do, i.e. I don’t even like when my dog barks at me that it’s time to eat or pee (and she’s pretty darn cute!) How in the world would I handle a kid that will dictate my schedule for 18 years?

  16. Dolph Rudager (@DolphRudager) April 3, 2014 at 10:12 am #

    Childfree because it’s my life, not theirs.

  17. catwomanm April 3, 2014 at 8:37 am #

    Reason #2 – I have epilepsy and take meds that can cause birth defects. I have enough to deal with taking care of myself let alone another person. Lack of sleep can cause seizures and I would rather get my sleep and no seizures.

  18. catwomanm April 3, 2014 at 8:35 am #

    #1 reason- My parents. I dealt with peer harassment, in school. They did not care or help. This lead to my depression and other crap. One day it hit me “I can’t have kids. When that perfect, untouched kid asks me what it was like growing up, how do I tell them my life sucked and Grandma and Grandpa didn’t care if I lived or died”

  19. Tanya Ligrest April 3, 2014 at 3:11 am #

    Cause I wanna sleep! Ahh sweet, sweet glorious sleep!

  20. The Jones April 2, 2014 at 10:52 pm #

    When people find out I’m not having kids they say “oh, you’d be a good mom.” Yes, I would. I would be such a good mom it would make all other moms look like garbage. You’re welcome!

  21. Dorothy M. April 2, 2014 at 3:35 pm #

    Reason #1 Being Childfree means there is ZERO chance I’ll get stuck in my golden years raising and illegitimate grandchild.

  22. Lisa_OU812 April 2, 2014 at 1:06 pm #

    #1, Have you met anyone else’s kids? YUCK! Why would I want that? Oh, I DON’T.

  23. rlburns1222 April 2, 2014 at 1:02 pm #

    #1: Virginia Woolf said that “A feminist is any woman who tells the truth about her life.” I choose not to have children because I am a feminist who acknowledges that the truth of my life is that there is no desire, no instinct, no yearning to be responsible for another human being, and to deny myself that truth would be heartbreaking for me, my partner and for an innocent child.

  24. mrskvall April 2, 2014 at 12:45 pm #

    #1 – Having the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want.
    #2 – Never having to change a diaper or clean up bodily fluids.
    #4 – Spending my hard earned money on myself.
    #5 – Sleeping in and staying up late
    #6 – Throwing parties at my house without fear of “waking the kids”
    #7 – Never having to hear “MOOOOOOOM” a million times a day
    #8 – The ability to own nice (expensive) things
    #9 – Being able to come home from work/school and relax
    #10 – 8+ uninterrupted hours of sleep every night

  25. Rachel C. April 2, 2014 at 12:40 pm #

    #6 Never having to choose between fast food happy meals and an expensive dining experience.

  26. Rachel C. April 2, 2014 at 12:39 pm #

    #5 Never having to ruin my breasts by breast feeding

  27. Julie April 2, 2014 at 12:39 pm #

    I cannot be trusted to be responsible for keeping another living being alive

  28. Rachel C. April 2, 2014 at 12:39 pm #

    #4 Never having to give up my body figure

  29. Rachel C. April 2, 2014 at 12:39 pm #

    #3 never having to waste money on supplies and childhood experiences we care nothing about.

  30. Rachel C. April 2, 2014 at 12:38 pm #

    #2 never having to argue about how to raise a child

  31. Rachel C. April 2, 2014 at 12:36 pm #

    #1 having the freedom to do what ever I want when I want.

  32. Terrie April 2, 2014 at 11:57 am #

    #8 No stretch marks. Just sayin’.

  33. Nicole C. April 2, 2014 at 11:48 am #

    #1 Reason: Because after 13 years of K-12 schooling, 4 years of college and 5+ years full of starter jobs, finding an apartment, getting married and building an adult life, I’m finally at the point where I can enjoy all my hard work and live the life I want with my husband.

  34. Letia Johnson April 2, 2014 at 11:40 am #

    #1 Forced conversations with other children’s parents.
    #2 Movie theaters are more fun.. quiet.
    #3 The sound of silence in general.
    #4 White furniture.
    #5 Staying up until 5 am because you want to, not because of a screaming kid.
    #6 You have to be so tall to ride the rides. They can’t ride the rides.
    #7 You don’t have to worry about that mini panic moment when you’re holding a baby, and they pull your shirt down (or slap on your boobs.)
    #8 Trying to come up with answers for those awkward questions like ” How come your nose is so big?”

  35. Darlene April 2, 2014 at 10:57 am #

    Reason # 657 : never having to experience the excruciating pain of stepping on a Lego!

  36. grayeyegirl April 2, 2014 at 10:43 am #

    #1 Because I know who I am and who I am does not involve children.

  37. Monica M. April 2, 2014 at 10:23 am #

    #1 So I don’t have to hear my mother-in-law tell me how to raise the child, or watch her stuff the kid’s face with ice cream, bon-bon’s, and pure spoonfuls of sugar (because I asked her not to).

  38. Terrie April 2, 2014 at 10:06 am #

    #7 I actually have the time to enter blog contests to win cool mugs….

  39. Terrie April 2, 2014 at 10:04 am #

    #6 I go to check on my retirement account, and I realize I HAVE one.

  40. Terrie April 2, 2014 at 10:01 am #

    #5 We only have to pull over if I’VE got to pee….

  41. Terrie April 2, 2014 at 9:57 am #

    #4 Taking a long romantic drive through the countryside, and no one is whining from the back seat, “are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?”

  42. Terrie April 2, 2014 at 9:46 am #

    #3 Babysitter? What babysitter?!?….

  43. Terrie April 2, 2014 at 9:44 am #

    #2 Leisurely pushing my shopping cart past the diaper section at the grocery store.

  44. Terrie April 2, 2014 at 9:11 am #

    #1 Fooling around in the middle of the afternoon and no one wanders in and gets traumatized.

  45. Amy W. April 2, 2014 at 8:48 am #

    My own ass is in the only one I ever want to wipe.

    • Amy W. April 2, 2014 at 8:50 am #

      No *in*. Just IS the only one I ever want to wipe. See, I can’t even respond correctly – how could I care for someone else?

  46. Julie E. April 2, 2014 at 8:10 am #

    One word: TELETUBBIES. *shudder*

  47. Julie E. April 2, 2014 at 8:08 am #

    I have enough trouble keeping track of my own potty training,drooling and nose blowing.. why would I want to bother with that of another? 🙂

  48. Steph F. April 2, 2014 at 7:55 am #

    Because I don’t want to be forced to hang out with other moms

  49. Steph F. April 2, 2014 at 7:53 am #

    Yo Gabba Gabba & LazyTown freak me out

  50. Steph F. April 2, 2014 at 7:48 am #

    Because Vicodin & ice cream would no longer be an acceptable meal

  51. Steph Falkowski April 2, 2014 at 7:47 am #


  52. Erin Severs April 2, 2014 at 6:10 am #

    My husband and I love our life, A LOT. Why mess with a good thing?

  53. Ashley April 1, 2014 at 11:50 pm #

    Reason #12,614: Knowing that I won’t be one of those mommies that pretends she’s a saint for procreating and uses her insane baby joy as a cover-up for her resentment…..

    • Ashley April 1, 2014 at 11:52 pm #

      It’s actually my #1 reason but #12,614 is my wedding date. Tried to be clever and then I realized this is about our #1 reasons. Derp…

  54. cheyanne diaz April 1, 2014 at 11:27 pm #

    Everytime I am hungover my first thought is that I am so glad I dont have any kids to take care of. Then I vomit and go back to sleep

  55. Joey Jazz April 1, 2014 at 10:59 pm #

    Reason #1: I’m going to take a nap

  56. Joey Jazz April 1, 2014 at 10:11 pm #

    I will never live with obnoxious, vommiting, loud, rude, destructive frat boys (that are actually small children).

  57. Anne April 1, 2014 at 6:24 pm #

    Because I teach 450 OPK (other peoples’ kids) and value my adult time!

  58. Julie E. April 1, 2014 at 5:44 pm #

    I will never have to bail a kid out of jail, let a kid use my car or worry about doing time for disciplining a kid. I am responsible for myself and no one else and I like it that way!

  59. Courtney April 1, 2014 at 5:00 pm #

    Reason #55,322: No childproofing! Never having to unlock the toilet when you REALLY have to go- Priceless.

  60. XOMBIEOCTOPUS April 1, 2014 at 4:02 pm #

    All your money can be spent on yourself!

  61. Jasmine S. April 1, 2014 at 3:42 pm #

    # 55 never having to worry grandma will get the furbabies to spill the beans on her Christmas gift.

  62. Amy April 1, 2014 at 3:09 pm #

    # 1 reason: The Elf on the Shelf. Need I say more?

  63. Stacey April 1, 2014 at 3:03 pm #

    #1 After spending 8 years raising my brothers kids, I appreciate the ability to do whatever I want whenever I want to.

  64. Peet April 1, 2014 at 2:48 pm #

    #1 because I don’t get arrested for putting the dog in a crate when it’s bad…

  65. Julie E. April 1, 2014 at 1:31 pm #

    Being camoflauged as a responsible adult is more fun than actually BEING one.


  1. And The Winners Are...! - childfree - April 6, 2014

    […] were blown away by the response to our Give Us A {childfree} Reason birthday contest. You guys really seem to know why you’re childfree and, we’re happy […]

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