I think it all began when I was a kid…

We recently received an email, subject line “Thanks for this awesome blog!!!” Normally we ignore anything with less than two or less exclamation points.

I mean, if you’re not excited to write us, what’s the point? Right?

Anywho, in this case, having three exclamation points, we promptly read the email which came from Claudia in Switzerland. In it she shared her childfree story with us. Enjoy!

I think it all began when I was a kid.

I think it all began when I was a kid.

I really hated dolls. They frightened me. I wanted to play with cars and my garage.

I am thankful my mom never forced me to play with dolls.

I received some dolls and hid them in a box.

Then when I was growing up, my cousins came along, and I never felt the urge to take them in my arms… I was afraid of babies!

When we were talking about life in general, my sister would say she wants 3 dogs and 4 kids, when I just wanted dogs, and travel the world.

Image - Claudia Carletti

Childfree Stories – Claudia Carletti

At puberty, when I started to realize what it meant to have babies and how it all works, it struck me : I don’t want to go through this.

« You’ll change your mind » « You’ll see when you grow up ».

At 18, I was still thinking, why the hell should I have a baby someday?

I really don’t enjoy their presence, and taking care of someone that depends on me frightens me!

Well, here I am, 28, and still convinced that it’s not for me, having kids, it’s not ME, not who I am and feel like being. « You’ll change your mind when time comes ». Why? I don’t think you can change your tastes at some point. You like it or you don’t like it, who is to judge? We are pilots of our own lives.

My family never put pressure on me about this child issue, but now I can feel the judging now that I’m almost 30. Grand kids? Well, won’t be me. Did you make me for you or for me?

Am I normal? Who cares! I decide to live my life. I’m old enough to do so.

When you give birth, you give birth to a person that will develop their own choice of life, not YOUR choice of life. Genetics aren’t everything.

If everyone listened closely to their hearts and feelings, there would be fewer abandoned children and miserable families torn apart.

People’s questions still annoy me, but I know I am making the right choice, and following my gut.

You know what’s normal? Following your heart!

I can see myself in 10, 20, 40 years, happy, and enjoying the simple joys of life. Having my partner, my friends, and grow until it’s time to leave this planet.

There will be a trace of my time on earth, I hope, in the people that I love hearts.

Thanks for creating this blog. Sometimes we feel all alone. Especially at that age.

So I hope my story makes the other CF happy and less alone too! 🙂

Claudia Carletti from switzerland

Find more Childfree Stories here!

13 Responses to I think it all began when I was a kid…

  1. Adriana November 5, 2015 at 8:11 am #

    this is so awesome and I love to read it because it basically describes my childhood as well. All my elderly relatives gifting me dolls and hoping that the girl will finally capitulate…while I kept playing with all sorts of stuffed animals, drawing animals, reading about animals…this was who I was and who I wanted to be and I am until now. Even now at 37 I still get the “you’ll change your mind” sentence (mostly from random strangers, my family has accepted it long ago) and I wonder if the people realize that at 37 you already lived half of your life (my parents both didn’t make it to 65 let alone 80, so who knows…) and it’s really rude to tell a person that ‘old’ that she’s just having a phase like a stubborn toddler! Now my cousins are all having small kids and we are really close and it’s really difficult, because I feel like a fish out of water when I have to interact with little kids and always glad when I’m back in my peaceful home with my calm pets. I really wonder why anyone who likes me – or likes kids for that matter – would even want me to have kids, because it would certainly be painful and unhappy for all parties involved. I’m so glad these blogs exist and I really love the friendly atmosphere and reading about so many like-minded people. If I could I would hug you all! Happy childfree life to us all.

  2. Bliss September 1, 2015 at 9:49 am #

    Awesome read, Claudia!
    While reading your contribution, I felt a lot like how you experience it – your child freeness.
    The major difference is me being over 10+ years older.
    It always fills my heart with joy to meet people who don’t just go with the flow and do what society (or even simply their relatives) expect them to do, which in most cases is still to procreate.
    Enjoy your childfree life 🙂

  3. Shrimi Sinha July 23, 2015 at 2:08 am #

    are you on twitter ? i love your article. send me your email address on shrimi.sinha@gmail.com

  4. shesbonafide April 8, 2015 at 2:54 am #

    “Did you make me for you or for me?” I love this so much!!!

  5. Valerie Kelly April 7, 2015 at 2:04 pm #

    I know exactly how you feel. I am almost 26 and thought I would have kids by now. I kept saying maybe someday, because of societal pressure. I have always felt uncomfortable around little kids and my cousin was a menace when he came into the picture. I hated being around him. At this point I am convinced kids are not for me and I just realized it recently.

    • claudia April 27, 2015 at 10:17 am #

      Hi Valerie, I’m so glad you replied to my post! And believing in your own choice is really a step up. Not easy getting through the social pressure and family pressure, but at the end of the day, it’s YOU that matters. Happiness comes in many forms, and I hope you will fulfill your life with things that make you happy 100%!!!

  6. Nancy Henderson April 7, 2015 at 9:06 am #

    I’m so glad I do not have children. I can’t have them, but that doesn’t bother me. I love my life. I wouldn’t be writing if I had kids, and right now the writing is everything to me. I owe it all to being childfree!
    Great blog by the way.

    • claudia April 27, 2015 at 10:18 am #

      finding what you LOVE is what life is all about 🙂 keep the circle positive 🙂

  7. A. April 6, 2015 at 8:36 pm #

    I have asked that question many times – WHY have a child? We’ll see how I feel in about 15 years time. I wish I could see the future and see what I decide to do. But knowing me, I may give into self-doubt when friends start having children. I hope I don’t.

    • claudia April 27, 2015 at 10:19 am #

      The future will bring you what you decide it will bring 🙂 you are the only one who knows what makes you truly happy. so follow your heart and your guts! and don’t give into pressure.

      • Kristofer May 30, 2015 at 3:29 pm #

        Hello Claudia, I am childfree man living in Ireland and had recently some trouble with ex about children and community pressure. Since I remember I didn’t want to have any and living this way make me just free and happy. Glad to hear that there are people, women the same as me with that choice. This is very refreshing reading about your story and have hope that some day I will share life with person who feels similar.
        🙂 hug!

        • claudia June 26, 2015 at 5:30 am #

          Hi Kristofer,
          Glad to read from you and that THERE ARE some CF men out there who want the same kind of lifestyle.
          Yes the pressure is great upon us, but also is the pressure of having the perfect life : perfect job, perfect man, perfect kids. But what if, perfection comes in other little things? A perfect sunrise in the morning? A perfect trip in some place you loved to go? Eating the perfect pizza? I dont know but lately Mindfulness has been more and more spoken about and it’s about this, the perfect little things in everyday life.
          I feel same way as you, free and happy, and sharing this with someone one day would be just.. perfect! haha!
          I want to be free to say, come on this weekend let’s go there, let’s do this, let’s be a bit crazy and enjoy life!
          I mean, everyday life is already boring, so let’s make it unsual and fun, no? 🙂 that new restaurant that opened, why not try it? this movie that seems to be stupid.. well, let’s see it. and so on 🙂
          Lately I’ve come across some questioning about my life, not about kids of course, but about getting the f out of switzerland, which is way too boring for me.
          We will see how that goes! i think i’m becoming a bit crazy cause monotony scares me!
          anyway if you’re ever around geneve, give me a ring!
          hugs
          clau

        • Bliss September 1, 2015 at 9:45 am #

          Kristofer,
          Have you ever considered joining a childree group on Facebook?
          It’s really awesome and gives youa feeling of recognition to know there are so many others who don’t want to procreate 🙂

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