I like a good parent on parent brawl as well as the next childfree person, but when I read blogger Dad On The Run‘s recent post To The Person Who Left My Sister This Unbelievably Judgmental Letter I wept for humanity. Why? Because everything about it, and everyone involved, is ridiculous.
Here’s an open letter to all of you. Here’s hoping you can learn something, specifically how to act like well adjusted adults in our society.
To The Parents That Decided To Bring An Infant To A Ski Resort
Maybe bringing your infant to a ski resort isn’t the best idea. I’m guessing that you know your baby. Is it a wailer? A screamer? Then you know this is a bad idea. Is your baby the quietest baby ever in the history of the world? Then this is still a bad idea. Murphy’s law says that this will be the occasion on which your baby becomes a screamer.
There are other options. Rent a house where you don’t have neighbors sharing a wall. From what I hear you’re a high-powered brain surgeon…you’ve got the cash. Or go to Disney or leave your baby with Nanna and Pappa. Or maybe stay home and take care of your kid. You did choose to have this baby, right? You knew there would be some sacrifices, right? Or did you think those sacrifices should be born by the people in the next room at Vail.
To The People People That Left The Letter
For Christ sake! Man up! Ask the hotel if you can move to another room. If that’s not an option, knock on the door of the offending parents and kindly let them know what’s going on. Maybe they don’t realize what a problem they are causing. Give them a chance to do something!
To The Hotel Management
Keep your families with kids and those without kids separate. Families with kids signed up for the noise and havoc; your guests without kids did not. Accommodate room change requests if you can. Apologize if you can’t…and maybe comp some goodies like ear plugs and martinis.
To Dad On The Run
I don’t think we’re reading the same letter. There was nothing at all nasty about the “nastygram”. We can all agree as reasonable people that no one should have to deal with loud neighbors night after night while on vacation, right? Barking dogs, screaming matches between adults, loud partying, and…wait for it…screaming babies are all disturbances that no one should have to put up with. And…get this…all of these things are actually preventable. One just has to apply some good judgement.
So, the fact that the disgruntled neighbors wrote down some wisdom – in a civil way I might add – and shared it with the parents of the screaming baby is very reasonable.
Regarding the rest of your disjointed rant, it’s hard to know where to start so I’ll just point out a few things for you to think about:
- Your brother-in-law being a brain surgeon in no way excuses his bad behavior. This also means that if you do a good deed, like put in a couple of hours at a local soup kitchen, you do not in turn earn points to go out and kick a puppy or trip an old lady.
- Asserting facts not in evidence, e.g. “Your kids ruined things for other people too.” is, well, asserting facts not in evidence. We know your sister and brother-in-law created a situation that disturbed at least one set of guests at the hotel. We don’t know that the letter writer’s kids ruined anything for anybody. More importantly – and please read closely here – the issue is not about the kid. It’s about the parents, their lack of initial good judgement and their lack of situational awareness to address an ongoing problem. Clearly their problems continue as rather than take on board the content of the letter, they chose to share it with you for world-wide distribution.
- Consider writing responses that are commensurate with what you’re responding to. For example you lash out with comments like “You, on the other hand, choose to spew hatred and judgment on others even when it will bring no change to your own situation.” and “I know little about you; maybe you were just cranky and writing without thinking. Maybe you are too stupid to relieve yourself with some Tylenol PM or earplugs or…”
Did you actually read the letter? Yeah, there’s some judgment in there. Valid judgement. But hatred? Please point that out. Writing without thinking? I think the author spent quite a bit of time thinking about this. I’m guessing s/he had plenty of time while lying awake at night. Too stupid? That one doesn’t deserve a comment.
I get that being all “controversial” like this probably gets you clicks. Hope it’s worth it.